Grace to say “Yes”

Jamie of Steady Mom wrote, “Your Job is to Say Yes” over at Simple Homeschool and concluded saying,

“As we dare to let go of control, we’ll find that joy lives in that place of release. Through saying yes, we discover so much more to be thankful for.”

This inspired to write an encouraging post ~

GRACE

http://practicalpages.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/adultchild_holdinghands.jpg?w=175&h=272

You see, I can only say “Yes” when I am in grace ~

  • when the God fills my heart with His mercy and grace
  • when God fills me with His Spirit
  • when I experience His life in abundance
  • when I recognize how often He lifts me up and encourages me
  • when I rejoice in the gift of His new life in me
  • when God gives me eyes to see and ears to hear others through Him

Too often I say “No”, but I can say “Yes” in grace ~

  • when I am not afraid
  • when I am not trying to control
  • when I am not trying to impress
  • when I am not trying to perform
  • when I am not anxious
  • when I am not insecure
  • when I don’t measure my children or myself
  • when I don’t compare them or myself with others
  • when I don’t allow strict schedules to restrict our choices
  • when I don’t make my plans more important than possibilities
  • when I don’t value a neat house over creative expression
  • when I don’t need to restrict my children

Then, when my heart is full and whole and healed, I can say “Yes” ~

  • when I recognize my child’s enthusiasm and delight
  • when I see their passion and gifting
  • when I want to nurture my children
  • when I realise that my children learn as individuals
  • when I desire to see them as unique and not a reflection of me
  • when I recognize that I am to facilitate their discoveries
  • when I see that childhood is fleeting and every moment really matters
  • when I treasure today as a gift from God
  • when I am open and trusting of the unknown
  • when I value people over possessions
  • when I want my children to know that they are special and their ideas matter
  • when I want my children to come to me in confidence
  • when I think “outside the box”

http://asdhelp.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/mom-child-holding-hands.jpg?w=180&h=269

“Children should be Free in their play” pg.20

“Always remember that persons matter more than things.” pg.2

“We should have a Method of Education not a System of Education.  A method is flexible, free, yielding, adaptive, natural.  A system is endless rules and very rigid.”  pg. 132

(Gracious wisdom quoted from Charlotte Mason Study Guide by Penny Gardner)

As a young, insecure, new mom,  I asked the Lord to make me a gracious mommy.  I want to offer my young children a loving childhood.  I want them to know that they are so special and precious to me.  I want to cultivate a relationship where they can come to me and ask me anything.

But saying “Yes” to everything doesn’t necessarily make me gracious – merely indulgent.

As I grow in confidence and experience I learn to set boundaries.  I offer alternatives.  I suggest  other times or different circumstance.

Saying “Yes” means that I have to facilitate their experiences with some gentle instructions, and create a safe and simple routine, give a few guidelines and conditions.  With supervision, I can ensure my children understand how to and can work responsibly.  Then I can say “Yes” with confidence.

When my children ask me if they may work with messy paints, things that break or stain,  dangerous tools, hot stoves, expensive machinery – they require training.  I need to spend time with them to do this.  Isn’t easier to continue with our own work and say “No”?

Charlotte Mason says that, “The child, though under supervision, should be left much to himself — both that he may go to work in his own way on the ideas he receives, and also that he may be the more open to natural influences.” pg.136

How easy is it then to say “Yes” to …

requests for another story,

to stay in dress-up clothes for the quick trip to the shops,

to bake cookies,

to paint,

to make a fort,

to hang a swing,

to build a model,

to play ‘shop’ with them,

to have a tea party under the tree

to choose their own clothes,

to go a look at tadpoles in a pond,

to take photos of the kittens on the carpet,

to help hold the bike as they learn to go without training wheels?

May you be encouraged in the Lord, be filled with His grace, and then say “Yes” and allow your children freedom with grace and guidance.

Blessings,

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6 thoughts on “Grace to say “Yes”

  1. My Explosive child couldn’t hear the words No, Don’t etc when she was younger. So to stop the melt-downs, I became the Yes-Mamma.
    Yes, she could have some chocolate – after dinner.
    Yes, she could play outside (even if it meant that I had to come with her and watch and I was in the middle of something).
    Yes, I would do face-paints for no particular reason, except that it’s fun (big breath, I can do it!).

    It was wonderful for her to be given permission to do things.

    And I can now use the words No, Don’t etc without any issues. I’d simply saved them for the important, life-threatening things, and it gave her a chance to grow gracefully into accepting it in the mundane now.

    Probably time for a bit more Yes-Mamma – my girls need me to be good and present in their lives, and it will be a delightful surprise for them too.

    Thanks for sharing, Nadene.

    • @Shona, I love your comment, “I’d simply saved them (“No” and “Don’t”) for the important, life-threatening things, and it gave her a chance to grow gracefully into accepting it in the mundane now.” Our responses should be guided by this principle, shouldn’t it? Well expressed, thank you for commenting.

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