Ultimate Goal is Independence

Revisiting posts from my archives ~

When I started out as a new mom, I was overwhelmed by the tremendous responsibility of raising such a needy, weak and fragile baby.  I remember thinking, one sleep-deprived night, while breastfeeding my baby, “If I can just make it through tomorrow …”


Goals were short back then – just to sleep through one night, introducing solid foods, potty training …

Once, when I consulted a mentor, she lovingly told me, “Little children, little problems.  Big children, big problems.” 

And it turns out she is right.   Sleepless nights, endless interruptions, toddler messes and wet beds cannot compare to the bigger issues we face as our children grow up and become independent.

When my first baby hit her Terrific Twos  (I don’t believe in the “terrible twos”), this amazing little person started to say, “I do it myself“, the glimmer of the ultimate goal emerged – Yes! Ultimately I will not be needed and she will do it all by herself.

Homeschool moms are full-time, they are everything for their children, but while this may seem overwhelming when raising little ones, things change as children mature, and goals shift.


As I sit for months and months with my child partner reading, I know that she will eventually read fluently and become independent.  Maths drills and handwriting exercises will fall away as they mature into middle and high school grades and those foundation lessons seamlessly grow into these new, complex activities.

May I humbly suggest you ~

Enjoy these intimate moments.

Love these shared lessons.

Savour your young child’s need of you.

Kiss and cuddle as much as you can!http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_CvDCiEFbNy8/TE1Q46SBc7I/AAAAAAAAU9Y/_Q891l5Lymk/s1600/Mary+Cassatt+(1844-1926).++A+Kiss+for+Baby+Anne+c+1897.jpg

Have fun!

Find joy in newness and discovery with them.

Make every moment matter.

Live without regrets, loving your child in all their love languages!

All too soon, your toddler is that tall teenager, frequently opening the fridge door to make his own snacks!  In a flash, you will find yourself standing with your 16 year-old while she applies for her own ID documents, or wait while your son completes his driver’s license. Or pray as your young adult starts his first full-time job.


And then they are grown up.  Almost. Independent.

I find myself needing more time with my 16 year-old.  There are so many things I want to share with her, so many areas of her life that I feel she needs to prepare for. 

I’m not ready for her to be independent.  Although she demonstrates such amazing skills and readiness to meet the adult world, she still needs more time to become more independent.


And humbly I realize that I may I not be the one to do all the rest.  I pray she finds great spiritual mentors, loving and caring adults and friends who will walk with her in grace and truth as she enters adulthood and independence.

Parenting is truly done on the knees.  Praying.

And that never ends.


(Featuring Mary Cassatt’s beautiful art work of mothers and babies.)

If you are not subscribed, please click the  RSS Feed button or subscribe for email notification so that you catch the next post in this series.

6 thoughts on “Ultimate Goal is Independence

  1. Pingback: Working Independently Yet Responsibly | Practical Pages

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.