A Sacred Task

Charlotte Mason’s principles challenges me. When I read her chapter on Sacredness of Personality, these words jumped out ~https://i2.wp.com/www.classroom-teacher-resources.com/image-files/classroom-discipline-holding-hands.jpg

“Parents look on with a smile and think that all is well; but Bob or Mary is losing that growing time which should make a self-dependent, self-ordered person, and is day by day becoming a parasite who can go only as he is carried, the easy prey of fanatic or demagogue. 

This sort of encroachment upon the love of children offers as a motive, ‘do this for my sake’; wrong is to be avoided lest it grieve the teacher, good is to be done to pleasure him; for this end a boy learns his lessons, behaves properly, shows good will, produces a whole catalogue of schoolboy virtues and yet his character is being undermined.

https://practicalpages.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/handholdingparentchild.jpgA due respect for the personality of children and a dread of making them incompetent to conduct their own lives will make us chary of employing a means so dangerous, no matter how good the immediate end.”

No parent sets out to create incompetent, parasitic and weak children who live their lives in shameful helplessness, inadequacy and co-dependency.

Intentional parenting motivates the child to grow into meaningful independence and responsibility.

As our eldest daughter completes her schooling this year, and our second eldest son plans for his marriage towards the end of the September, they want to be equipped and ready.  It is a joy to see them becoming self-determined and responsible.

Our parenting should provide the essential structures and routines, some basic rules and disciplines, and mixed in it all, grace, love and assistance.

Let me go back to when they were young and innocent. I remember giving my toddler choices.  My options, but she could chose in them, and the outcome was the one I wanted e.g.: ~ “We are going to bath, brush teeth (…insert your activities…) and then read a story.  Which story do you want to hear tonight?  This one or this one?  Great!  Quickly now, let’s …”

This approach works well with young homeschoolers too.  Our read aloud time is our “together” time and we usually do all the disciplined studies before morning tea so that we can enjoy our reading and hands-on activities.  When the child is given some choices in these activities, they do not resist and mope when lessons are short and sweet. (Thank you Charlotte Mason, for this lovely principle.)

Homeschooling a high schooler is slightly different.  They want to work independently.  The best tools for them is the year plan/ overview, a calendar and a weekly schedule or timetable.  We work out how many lessons per week, how many hours that requires, and they can tick the plan off as they go.  Both my highschoolers work to try finish and write off a subject by completing the work and the tests/ exams.  They ask me to tutor them. We book our time together and I enjoy the moments working side-by-side.

All too soon, it will pass and my role with them will change.

My parenting will be worthy if my children grow up to ~

  • love the Lord, His Word and His Ways
  • make good choices; in serving others, in excellence,
  • have an ethic that values hard work and diligence
  • form and maintain sincere and sound relationships with others
  • respect themselves and those in authority,  and be worthy of respect
  • persevere and endure even when it gets tough
  • be themselves, unique, creative, sincere
  • be faithful to the Lord’s gifting and purpose for their lives

So this is a “sacred” task.

How do you find your homeschooling and parenting sacred?

Blessings,

7 thoughts on “A Sacred Task

  1. Exactly like yours Nadene!!!!! Only this morning I was praying and pleading that same prayer for my 3 boys. The main thing is even though I don’t see much of this happening before my eyes, I know that the Lord heard my prayers & His work is in affect….I’ve entrusted them to Him, & He does His work in them whilst doing His Will in me!!! Many blessings to you!!!!

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  2. I have a hard time with this. My oldest has Aspergers. She’s not completely independent yet because there are things she struggles with – mostly in Math and Writing. She has a hard time understanding things she’s read too which makes the independent thing difficult. She’ll be in 9th grade next year, but I’m holding her back. I’ve felt guilt about this issue. She just isn’t ready for high school. However, I do have a checklist and let her work from it. I check over things I think she might need help with. Reading comprehension is hard, so I often have to back track with that. I let her do her school work in the order she wishes and she does it. 2 years ago, I wouldn’t have thought this possible. She is no where near what other 14 year olds are emotionally, mentally, or even physically. She has the body of teenager, but everything else is “behind”…but that’s how God made her, so I continue to encourage her. I hope someday she’ll succeed and be independent, but I do my part and leave the rest to God who is able to overcome in any area. I’m just a weak vessel…and He chose me to parent a child that needs a lot of help. I’m not fit to do it without Him.

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    • @MB, when our children do not match the “normal” we need, more than ever, to trust the Lord for His perfect purposes. We are privileged to homeschool our children according to their unique and individual learning pace and style. Whatever we can impart, how we can train, and how we inspire them to become, is all a work done in faith for the Lord, through Him and unto Him. It is difficult to surrender daily and to be faithful in the now. My prayers and blessings.

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