Every now and then a child reveals some area of weakness. They may have a physical, scholastic, intellectual, perceptual, sensory, emotional or spiritual problem …
Is it true that moms are only as happy as their UNHAPPIEST child?
I become distressed and anxious when a difficulty remains unsolved despite my best efforts …
Often my anxiety is based on this concern – Am I good enough? Can I really do this? Am I a good teacher/ Mom?
My husband is the most wonderful balancing factor when I lose perspective. He is not focused on their academic performance. He’s not their teacher and it is not his ability in question. He looks at the child’s character and how this problem will present itself later in life.
Here are some of his questions:
- Have I taken this to the Lord?
- How will this affect her when she leaves home?
- How will this prevent her from growing up as a balanced adult?
- Will the remedy or solution draw attention to her weakness and cause her to lose confidence?
- Can I build on her strengths?
- Do we have to fix this now? Why the panic?
- She is young and time and maturity may remedy this weakness.
We talk through these questions and then seek the Lord.
When I look at the situation through the Lord’s eyes, I usually receive His grace and mercy. The Lord is always full of compassion, full of joy and strength and in Him I can breathe, surrender and stop worrying. The Lord is faithful to lead me.
Prayer fortifies me. I know that nothing is impossible for God. He is not dismayed. He is not taken by surprize. After prayer I often find a starting point. I may find the right therapy, information, website, book or a technique.
We as parents have decided never to discuss our children’s weaknesses with others. This shames them. If they hear us speak, it should always be uplifting. So, it usually remains with us and the Lord. As I look back over my journal, I see that some problems were resolved without any intervention and effort on my part. My fixing would have made it worse!
With the benefit of experience I have seen how problems are not all earth-shattering. B/D reversals, reluctant reading, mathematic meltdowns, mood swings, poor spelling … are not lifelong issues. With time, remedial intervention, sensitive obedience to the Lord, we find a plateau … and look back at the mountain we climbed … and it wasn’t that bad …
The Lord wants me to serve my children.
They are His, for His service.
What does He want me to build in their lives so that they will go on to become the handmaidens He designed ?
What has the Lord shown you when your children have had their difficulties?